Sunday, October 17, 2010

Why?

I've seen blogs for years now, but never in a million years did I think I would create one. Why now? My life has become so sad and scary that I feel that I must find an outlet to let everything out. I'm 29 years old and a single mother to two children. I am so overwhelmed with life right now. I'm fat rather I'm obese, my hair has begun to fall out and it looks a hot mess. My financial situation is horrible right now, and I have no type of life. Right now all my life is about are my kids and work. It's funny because if you really knew me you would so think I have it together. I laugh when people tell me I'm a great mom and they are so proud of me and what I've done with my life. They have no idea or even a clue to what my life or what I'm really like. I'm so depressed right now about my weight, my finances, and my lack of no love life that somethings gotta change. I cried tonight because I lost more of my hair and I'm so fat. Well, today I want to take my life back. I want to be that great person everyone thinks I am. I want to be a great mom, a fit healty person, and I want to have a savings account. I hope by writing in my blog about how I really feel it will allow me to gain control of my out of control life. As I continue in my blog I will go into more of what I believe may have gotten me to this point, I can tell you right now it was a mixer of a few things such as, growing up in a family with drug abuse, being abused by a close family member, being in an abuse relationship, and many other things that have contributed to my downward spiral. I know this sounds like a blog that you are just not interested in and that's ok. Right now I just feel like I need to let go of things that have been eating me up and killing me inside. And when I say killing me I really mean killing me. I hope you will go through this journey with me and I hope that after all this is said and done my life will be better and happier for doing this. Take care and talk to you soon.